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Lincoln's yarns and stories A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
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Lincoln's yarns and stories A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
Alexander K. McClure
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By Alexander K. McClure
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PREFACE.
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LINCOLN’S NAME AROUSES AN AUDIENCE, BY DR. NEWMAN HALL, of London.
4
LINCOLN AND McCLURE.
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LINCOLN ASKED TO BE SHOT.
6
TIME LOST DIDN’T COUNT.
Reading
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NO VICES, NO VIRTUES.
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LINCOLN’S DUES.
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“DONE WITH THE BIBLE.”
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HIS KNOWLEDGE OF HUMAN NATURE.
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A MISCHIEVOUS OX.
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THE PRESIDENTIAL “CHIN-FLY.”
13
‘SQUIRE BAGLY’S PRECEDENT.
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HE’D NEED HIS GUN.
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KEPT UP THE ARGUMENT.
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EQUINE INGRATITUDE.
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‘TWAS “MOVING DAY.”
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“ABE’S” HAIR NEEDED COMBING.
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WOULD “TAKE TO THE WOODS.”
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LINCOLN CARRIED HER TRUNK.
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BOAT HAD TO STOP.
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MCCLELLAN’S “SPECIAL TALENT.”
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HOW “JAKE” GOT AWAY.
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MORE LIGHT AND LESS NOISE.
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ONE BULLET AND A HATFUL.
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LINCOLN’S STORY TO PEACE COMMISSIONERS.
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“ABE” GOT THE WORST OF IT.
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IT DEPENDED UPON HIS CONDITION.
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“GOT DOWN TO THE RAISINS.”
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“HONEST ABE” SWALLOWS HIS ENEMIES.
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SAVING HIS WIND.
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RIGHT FOR, ONCE, ANYHOW.
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“PITY THE POOR ORPHAN.”
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“BAP.” McNABB’S BOOSTER.
35
A LOW-DOWN TRICK.
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END FOR END.
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LET SIX SKUNKS GO.
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HOW HE GOT BLACKSTONE.
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A JOB FOR THE NEW CABINETMAKER.
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“I CAN STAND IT IF THEY CAN.”
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LINCOLN MISTAKEN FOR ONCE.
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FORGOT EVERYTHING HE KNEW.
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HE LOVED A GOOD STORY.
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HEELS RAN AWAY WITH THEM.
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WANTED TO BURN HIM DOWN TO THE STUMP.
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HAD A “KICK” COMING.
47
THE CASE OF BETSY ANN DOUGHERTY.
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HAD TO WEAR A WOODEN SWORD.
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“ABE” STIRRING THE “BLACK” COALS.
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GETTING RID OF AN ELEPHANT.
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GROTESQUE, YET FRIGHTFUL.
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“ABE” WAS NO DUDE.
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CHARACTERISTIC OF LINCOLN.
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“PLOUGH ALL ‘ROUND HIM.”
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“I’VE LOST MY APPLE.”
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LOST HIS CERTIFICATE OF CHARACTER.
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NOTE PRESENTED FOR PAYMENT.
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DOG WAS A “LEETLE BIT AHEAD.”
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“ABE’S” FIGHT WITH NEGROES.
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NOISE LIKE A TURNIP.
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WARDING OFF GOD’S VENGEANCE.
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JEFF DAVIS AND CHARLES THE FIRST.
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LOVED SOLDIERS’ HUMOR.
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BAD TIME FOR A BARBECUE.
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HE’D SEE IT AGAIN.
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CALL ANOTHER WITNESS.
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A CONTEST WITH LITTLE “TAD.”
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REMINDED HIM OF “A LITTLE STORY.”
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“FETCHED SEVERAL SHORT ONES.”
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LINCOLN LUGS THE OLD MAN.
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McCLELLAN WAS “INTRENCHING.”
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MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF IT, ANYWAY.
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VICIOUS OXEN HAVE SHORT HORNS.
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LINCOLN’S NAME FOR “WEEPING WATER.”
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PETER CARTWRIGHT’S DESCRIPTION OF LINCOLN.
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NO DEATHS IN HIS HOUSE.
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PAINTED HIS PRINCIPLES.
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DIGNIFYING THE STATUTE.
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LINCOLN CAMPAIGN MOTTOES.
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GIVING AWAY THE CASE.
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POSING WITH A BROOMSTICK.
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“BOTH LENGTH AND BREADTH.”
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“ABE” RECITES A SONG.
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“MANAGE TO KEEP HOUSE.”
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GRANT “TUMBLED” RIGHT AWAY.
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“DON’T KILL HIM WITH YOUR FIST.”
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COULD BE ARBITRARY.
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A GENERAL BUSTIFICATION.
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MAKING QUARTERMASTERS.
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NO POSTMASTERS IN HIS POCKET.
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HE “SKEWED” THE LINE.
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“WHEREAS,” HE STOLE NOTHING.
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NOT LIKE THE POPE’S BULL.
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COULD HE TELL?
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DARNED UNCOMFORTABLE SITTING.
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“WHAT’S-HIS-NAME” GOT THERE.
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A REALLY GREAT GENERAL.
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“SHRUNK UP NORTH.”
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LINCOLN ADOPTED THE SUGGESTION.
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SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE.
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TOO MANY PIGS FOR THE TEATS.
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GREELEY CARRIES LINCOLN TO THE LUNATIC ASYLUM.
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THE LAST TIME HE SAW DOUGLAS.
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HURT HIS LEGS LESS.
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A LITTLE SHY OR GRAMMAR.
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HIS FIRST SATIRICAL WRITING.
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LIKELY TO DO IT.
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“THE ENEMY ARE ‘OURN’”
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“AND—HERE I AM!”
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SAFE AS LONG AS THEY WERE GOOD.
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“SMELT NO ROYALTY IN OUR CARRIAGE.”
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HELL A MILE FROM THE WHITE HOUSE.
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HIS “GLASS HACK”
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LEAVE HIM KICKING.
115
“WHO COMMENCED THIS FUSS?”
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“ABE’S” LITTLE JOKE.
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WHAT SUMMER THOUGHT.
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A USELESS DOG.
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ORIGIN OF THE “INFLUENCE” STORY.
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FELT SORRY FOR BOTH.
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WHERE DID IT COME FROM?
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“LONG ABE” FOUR YEARS LONGER.
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“ALL SICKER’N YOUR MAN.”
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EASIER TO EMPTY THE POTOMAC.
125
HE WANTED A STEADY HAND.
126
LINCOLN SAW STANTON ABOUT IT.
127
MRS. LINCOLN’S SURPRISE.
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MENACE TO THE GOVERNMENT.
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TROOPS COULDN’T FLY OVER IT.
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PAT WAS “FORNINST THE GOVERNMENT.”
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“CAN’T SPARE THIS MAN.”
132
HIS TEETH CHATTERED.
133
“AARON GOT HIS COMMISSION.”
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LINCOLN AND THE MINISTERS.
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HARDTACK BETTER THAN GENERALS.
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GOT THE PREACHER.
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BIG JOKE ON HALLECK.
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STORIES BETTER THAN DOCTORS.
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SHORT, BUT EXCITING.
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MR. BULL DIDN’T GET HIS COTTON.
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STICK TO AMERICAN PRINCIPLES.
142
USED “RUDE TACT.”
143
“ABE” ON A WOODPILE.
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TAKING DOWN A DANDY.
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WHEN OLD ABE GOT MAD.
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WANTED TO “BORROW” THE ARMY.
147
YOUNG “SUCKER” VISITORS.
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“AND YOU DON’T WEAR HOOPSKIRTS.”
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LIEUTENANT TAD LINCOLN’S SENTINELS.
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DOUGLAS HELD LINCOLN’S HAT.
151
THE DEAD MAN SPOKE.
152
MILITARY SNAILS NOT SPEEDY.
153
OUTRAN THE JACK-RABBIT.
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“FOOLING” THE PEOPLE.
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“ABE, YOU CAN’T PLAY THAT ON ME.”
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HIS “BROAD” STORIES.
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SORRY FOR THE HORSES.
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MILD REBUKE TO A DOCTOR.
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COLD MOLASSES WAS SWIFTER.
160
LINCOLN CALLS MEDILL A COWARD.
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THEY DIDN’T BUILD IT.
162
STANTON’S ABUSE OF LINCOLN.
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THE NEGRO AND THE CROCODILE.
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LINCOLN WAS READY TO FIGHT.
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IT WAS UP-HILL WORK.
166
LEE’S SLIM ANIMAL.
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“MRS. NORTH AND HER ATTORNEY.”
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SATISFACTION TO THE SOUL.
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WITHDREW THE COLT.
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“TAD” GOT HIS DOLLAR.
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TELLS AN EDITOR ABOUT NASBY.
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LONG AND SHORT OF IT.
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MORE PEGS THAN HOLES.
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“WEBSTER COULDN’T HAVE DONE MORE.”
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LINCOLN MET CLAY.
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REMINDED “ABE” OF A LITTLE JOKE.
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HIS DIGNITY SAVED HIM.
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THE MAN HE WAS LOOKING FOR
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HIS CABINET CHANCES POOR.
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THE GENERAL WAS “HEADED IN”
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SUGAR-COATED.
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COULD MAKE “RABBIT-TRACKS.”
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LINCOLN PROTECTED CURRENCY ISSUES.
184
LINCOLN’S APOLOGY TO GRANT.
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LINCOLN SAID “BY JING.”
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IT TICKLED THE LITTLE WOMAN.
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“SHALL ALL FALL TOGETHER.”
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DEAD DOG NO CURE.
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“THOROUGH” IS A GOOD WORD.
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THE CABINET WAS A-SETTIN’.
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A BULLET THROUGH HIS HAT.
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NO KIND TO GET TO HEAVEN ON.
193
THE ONLY REAL PEACEMAKER.
194
THE APPLE WOMAN’S PASS.
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SPLIT RAILS BY THE YARD.
196
THE QUESTION OF LEGS.
197
TOO MANY WIDOWS ALREADY.
198
GOD NEEDED THAT CHURCH.
199
THE MAN DOWN SOUTH.
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COULDN’T LET GO THE HOG.
201
THE CABINET LINCOLN WANTED.
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READY FOR “BUTCHER-DAY.”
203
“THE BAD BIRD AND THE MUDSILL.”
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GAVE THE SOLDIER HIS FISH.
205
A PECULIAR LAWYER.
206
IF THEY’D ONLY “SKIP.”
207
FATHER OF THE “GREENBACK.”
208
MAJOR ANDERSON’S BAD MEMORY.
209
NO VANDERBILT.
210
SQUASHED A BRUTAL LIE.
211
“ONE WAR AT A TIME.”
212
PRESIDENT LINCOLN’S LAST PUBLIC ADDRESS.
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NO OTHERS LIKE THEM.
214
CASH WAS AT HAND.
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WELCOMED THE LITTLE GIRLS.
216
“DON’T SWAP HORSES”
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MOST VALUABLE POLITICAL ATTRIBUTE.
218
“ABE” RESENTED THE INSULT.
219
ONE MAN ISN’T MISSED.
220
“STRETCHED THE FACTS.”
221
IT LENGTHENED THE WAR.
222
HIS THEORY OF THE REBELLION.
223
RAN AWAY WHEN VICTORIOUS.
224
WANTED STANTON SPANKED.
225
STANTON WAS OUT OF TOWN.
226
IDENTIFIED THE COLORED MAN.
227
OFFICE SEEKERS WORSE THAN WAR.
228
HE “SET ‘EM UP.”
229
WASN’T STANTON’S SAY.
230
“JEFFY” THREW UP THE SPONGE.
231
DIDN’T KNOW GRANT’S PREFERENCE.
232
JUSTICE vs. NUMBERS.
233
NO FALSE PRIDE IN LINCOLN.
234
EXTRA MEMBER OF THE CABINET.
235
HOW LINCOLN WAS ABUSED.
236
HOW “FIGHTING JOE” WAS APPOINTED.
237
KEPT HIS COURAGE UP.
238
A FORTUNE-TELLER’S PREDICTION.
239
TOO MUCH POWDER.
240
SLEEP STANDING UP.
241
SHOULD HAVE FOUGHT ANOTHER BATTLE.
242
LINCOLN UPBRAIDED LAMON.
243
MARKED OUT A FEW WORDS.
244
LINCOLN SILENCES SEWARD.
245
BROUGHT THE HUSBAND UP.
246
NO WAR WITHOUT BLOOD-LETTING.
247
LINCOLN’S TWO DIFFICULTIES.
248
WHITE ELEPHANT ON HIS HANDS.
249
WHEN LINCOLN AND GRANT CLASHED.
250
WON JAMES GORDON BENNETT’S SUPPORT.
251
STOOD BY THE “SILENT MAN.”
252
A VERY BRAINY NUBBIN.
253
SENT TO HIS “FRIENDS.”
254
GO DOWN WITH COLORS FLYING.
255
ALL WERE TRAGEDIES.
256
“HE’S THE BEST OF US.”
257
HOW LINCOLN “COMPOSED.”
258
HAMLIN MIGHT DO IT.
259
THE GUN SHOT BETTER.
260
LENIENT WITH McCLELLAN.
261
DIDN’T WANT A MILITARY REPUTATION.
262
“SURRENDER NO SLAVE.”
263
CONSCRIPTING DEAD MEN.
264
LINCOLN’S REJECTED MANUSCRIPT.
265
LINCOLN AS A STORY WRITER.
266
LINCOLN’S IDEAS ON CROSSING A RIVER WHEN HE GOT TO IT.
267
PRESIDENT NOMINATED FIRST.
268
“THEM GILLITEENS.”
269
“CONSIDER THE SYMPATHY OF LINCOLN.”
270
SAVED A LIFE.
271
LINCOLN PLAYED BALL.
272
HIS PASSES TO RICHMOND NOT HONORED.
273
“PUBLIC HANGMAN” FOR THE UNITED STATES.
274
FEW, BUT BOISTEROUS.
275
KEEP PEGGING AWAY.
276
BEWARE OF THE TAIL.
277
“LINCOLN’S DREAM.”
278
THERE WAS NO NEED OF A STORY.
279
LINCOLN A MAN OF SIMPLE HABITS.
280
HIS LAST SPEECH.
281
FORGOT EVERYTHING HE KNEW BEFORE.
282
LINCOLN BELIEVED IN EDUCATION.
283
LINCOLN ON THE DRED SCOTT DECISION.
284
LINCOLN MADE MANY NOTABLE SPEECHES.
285
WHAT AILED THE BOYS.
286
TAD’S CONFEDERATE FLAG.
287
CALLED BLESSINGS ON THE AMERICAN WOMEN.
288
LINCOLN’S “ORDER NO. 252.”
289
TALKED TO THE NEGROES OF RICHMOND.
290
“ABE” ADDED A SAVING CLAUSE.
291
HOW “JACK” WAS “DONE UP.”
292
ANGELS COULDN’T SWEAR IT RIGHT.
293
“MUST GO, AND GO TO STAY.”
294
LINCOLN WASN’T BUYING NOMINATIONS.
295
HE ENVIED THE SOLDIER AT THE FRONT.
296
DON’T TRUST TOO FAR
297
HE’D “RISK THE DICTATORSHIP.”
298
“MAJOR GENERAL, I RECKON.”
299
WOULD SEE THE TRACKS.
300
“ABE” GAVE HER A “SURE TIP.”
301
THE PRESIDENT HAD KNOWLEDGE OF HIM.
302
ONLY HALF A MAN.
303
GRANT CONGRATULATED LINCOLN.
304
“BRUTUS AND CAESAR.”
305
HOW STANTON GOT INTO THE CABINET.
306
“ABE” LIKE HIS FATHER.
307
“NO MOON AT ALL.”
308
“ABE” A SUPERB MIMIC.
309
WHY HE WAS CALLED “HONEST ABE.”
310
“ABE’S” NAME REMAINED ON THE SIGN.
311
VERY HOMELY AT FIRST SIGHT.
312
THE MAN TO TRUST.
313
“WUZ GOIN’ TER BE ‘HITCHED.”’
314
HE PROPOSED TO SAVE THE UNION.
315
THE SAME OLD RUM.
316
SAVED LINCOLN’S LIFE
317
WOULD NOT RECALL A SINGLE WORD.
318
OLD BROOM BEST AFTER ALL.
319
GOD WITH A LITTLE “g.”
320
“ABE’S” LOG.
321
IT WAS A FINE FIZZLE.
322
A TEETOTALER.
323
NOT TO “OPEN SHOP” THERE.
324
WE HAVE LIBERTY OF ALL KINDS.
325
TOM CORWINS’S LATEST STORY.
326
“CATCH ‘EM AND CHEAT ‘EM.”
327
A JURYMAN’S SCORN.
328
HE “BROKE” TO WIN.
329
WANTED HER CHILDREN BACK.
330
SIX FEET FOUR AT SEVENTEEN.
331
HAD RESPECT FOR THE EGGS.
332
HOW WAS THE MILK UPSET?
333
“PULLED FODDER” FOR A BOOK.
334
PRAISES HIS RIVAL FOR OFFICE.
335
ONE THING “ABE” DIDN’T LOVE.
336
THE MODESTY OF GENIUS.
337
WHY SHE MARRIED HIM.
338
NIAGARA FALLS.
339
MADE IT HOT FOR LINCOLN.
340
WOULDN’T HOLD TITLE AGAINST HIM.
341
ONLY ONE LIFE TO LIVE.
342
COULDN’T LOCATE HIS BIRTHPLACE.
343
“SAMBO” WAS “AFEARED.”
344
WHEN MONEY MIGHT BE USED.
345
“ABE” WAS NO BEAUTY.
346
“HE’S JUST BEAUTIFUL.”
347
BIG ENOUGH HOG FOR HIM.
348
“ABE” OFFERS A SPEECH FOR SOMETHING TO EAT.
349
THEY UNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER.
350
FEW FENCE RAILS LEFT.
351
THE “GREAT SNOW” OF 1830-31.
352
CREDITOR PAID DEBTORS DEBT.
353
HELPED OUT THE SOLDIERS.
354
EVERY FELLOW FOR HIMSELF.
355
“BUTCHER-KNIFE BOYS” AT THE POLLS.
356
NO “SECOND COMING” FOR SPRINGFIELD.
357
HOW HE WON A FRIEND.
358
NEVER SUED A CLIENT.
359
THE LINCOLN HOUSEHOLD GOODS.
360
RUNNING THE MACHINE.
361
WAS “BOSS” WHEN NECESSARY.
362
“RATHER STARVE THAN SWINDLE.”
363
DON’T AIM TOO HIGH.
364
NOT MUCH AT RAIL-SPLITTING.
365
GAVE THE SOLDIER THE PREFERENCE.
366
THE PRESIDENT WAS NOT SCARED.
367
JEFF. DAVIS’ REPLY TO LINCOLN.
368
LINCOLN WAS a GENTLEMAN.
369
HIS POOR RELATIONS.
370
DESERTER’S SINS WASHED OUT IN BLOOD.
371
SURE CURE FOR BOILS.
372
PAY FOR EVERYTHING.
373
BASHFUL WITH LADIES.
374
SAW HUMOR IN EVERYTHING.
375
SPECIFIC FOR FOREIGN “RASH.”
376
FAVORED THE OTHER SIDE.
377
LINCOLN AND THE “SHOW”
378
“MIXING” AND “MINGLING.”
379
TOOK PART OF THE BLAME.
380
THOUGHT OF LEARNING A TRADE.
381
LINCOLN DEFENDS FIFTEEN MRS. NATIONS.
382
AVOIDED EVEN APPEARANCE OF EVIL
383
WAR DIDN’T ADMIT OF HOLIDAYS.
384
“NEUTRALITY.”
385
DAYS OF GLADNESS PAST.
386
WOULDN’T TAKE THE MONEY.
387
GRANT HELD ON ALL THE TIME.
388
CHEWED THE CUD IN SOLITUDE.
389
“ABE’S” YANKEE INGENUITY.
390
LINCOLN PAID HOMAGE TO WASHINGTON.
391
STIRRED EVEN THE REPORTERS.
392
WHEN “ABE” CAME IN.
393
ETERNAL FIDELITY TO THE CAUSE OF LIBERTY.
394
“ABE’S” “DEFALCATIONS.”
395
HE WASN’T GUILELESS.
396
SWEET, BUT MILD REVENGE.
397
DIDN’T TRUST THE COURT.
398
HANDSOMEST MAN ON EARTH.
399
THAT COON CAME DOWN.
400
WROTE “PIECES” WHEN VERY YOUNG.
401
“TRY TO STEER HER THROUGH.”
402
GRAND, GLOOMY AND PECULIAR.
403
ON THE WAY TO GETTYSBURG.
404
STOOD UP THE LONGEST.
405
A MORTIFYING EXPERIENCE.
406
NO HALFWAY BUSINESS.
407
DISCOURAGED LITIGATION.
408
GOING HOME TO GET READY.
409
“THE ‘RAIL-SPUTTER’ REPAIRING THE UNION.”
410
“FIND OUT FOR YOURSELVES.”
411
ROUGH ON THE NEGRO.
412
CHALLENGED ALL COMERS.
413
“GOVERNMENT RESTS IN PUBLIC OPINION.”
414
HURRY MIGHT MAKE TROUBLE.
415
SAW HIMSELF DEAD.
416
EVERY LITTLE HELPED.
417
ABOUT TO LAY DOWN THE BURDEN.
418
LINCOLN WOULD HAVE PREFERRED DEATH.
419
“PUNCH” AND HIS LITTLE PICTURE.
420
FASCINATED By THE WONDERFUL
421
“WHY DON’T THEY COME!”
422
GRANT’S BRAND OF WHISKEY.
423
HIS FINANCIAL STANDING.
424
THE DANDY AND THE BOYS.
425
“SOME UGLY OLD LAWYER.”
426
GOOD MEMORY OF NAMES.
427
SETTLED OUT OF COURT.
428
THE FIVE POINTS SUNDAY SCHOOL.
429
SENTINEL OBEYED ORDERS.
430
WHY LINCOLN GROWED WHISKERS.
431
LINCOLN AS A DANCER.
432
SIMPLY PRACTICAL HUMANITY.
433
HAPPY FIGURES OF SPEECH.
434
A FEW “RHYTHMIC SHOTS.”
435
OLD MAN GLENN’S RELIGION.
436
LAST ACTS OF MERCY.
437
JUST LIKE SEWARD.
438
A CHEERFUL PROSPECT.
439
THOUGHT GOD WOULD HAVE TOLD HIM.
440
LINCOLN AND A BIBLE HERO.
441
BOY WAS CARED FOR.
442
THE JURY ACQUITTED HIM
443
TOOK NOTHING BUT MONEY.
444
NAUGHTY BOY HAD TO TAKE HIS MEDICINE.
445
WOULD BLOW THEM TO H—-.
446
“YANKEE” GOODNESS OF HEART.
447
WALKED AS HE TALKED.
448
THE SONG DID THE BUSINESS.
449
A “FREE FOR ALL.”
450
THREE INFERNAL BORES.
451
LINCOLN’S MEN WERE “HUSTLERS.”
452
A SLOW HORSE.
453
DODGING “BROWSING PRESIDENTS.”
454
A GREENBACK LEGEND.
455
GOD’S BEST GIFT TO MAN.
456
SCALPING IN THE BLACK HAWK WAR.
457
MATRIMONIAL ADVICE.
458
OWED LOTS OF MONEY.
459
“ON THE LORD’S SIDE.”
460
WANTED TO BE NEAR “ABE.”
461
GOT HIS FOOT IN IT.
462
SAVED BY A LETTER.
463
HIS FAVORITE POEM.
464
FIVE-LEGGED CALF.
465
A STAGE-COACH STORY.
466
THE “400” GATHERED THERE.
467
ONLY LEVEL-HEADED MEN WANTED.
468
HIS FAITH IN THE MONITOR.
469
HER ONLY IMPERFECTION.
470
THE OLD LADY’S PROPHECY.
471
HOW THE TOWN OF LINCOLN, ILL., WAS NAMED.
472
“OLD JEFF’S” BIG NIGHTMARE.
473
LINCOLN’S LAST OFFICIAL ACT.
474
THE LAD NEEDED THE SLEEP.
475
“MASSA LINKUM LIKE DE LORD!”
476
HOW LINCOLN TOOK THE NEWS.
477
PROFANITY AS A SAFETY-VALVE.
478
WHY WE WON AT GETTYSBURG.
479
HAD TO WAIT FOR HIM.
480
PRESIDENT AND CABINET JOINED IN PRAYER.
481
BELIEVED HE WAS A CHRISTIAN.
482
WITH THE HELP OF GOD.
483
TURNED TEARS TO SMILES.
484
LINCOLN’S LAST WRITTEN WORDS.
485
WOMEN PLEAD FOR PARDONS.
486
LINCOLN WISHED TO SEE RICHMOND.
487
SPOKEN LIKE A CHRISTIAN.
488
“LINCOLN GOES IN WHEN THE QUAKERS ARE OUT”
489
HAD CONFIDENCE IN HIM—“BUT—.”
490
HOW HOMINY WAS ORIGINATED.
491
HIS IDEA’S OLD, AFTER ALL.
492
LINCOLN’S FIRST SPEECH.
493
“ABE WANTED NO SNEAKIN’ ‘ROUND.”
494
DIDN’T EVEN NEED STILTS.
495
“HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF THIS PLACE?”
496
“TAD” INTRODUCES “OUR FRIENDS.”
497
MIXED UP WORSE THAN BEFORE.
498
“LONG ABE’S” FEET “PROTRUDED OVER.”
499
COULD LICK ANY MAN IN THE CROWD.
500
HIS WAY TO A CHILD’S HEART.
501
“LEFT IT THE WOMEN TO HOWL ABOUT ME.”
502
HE’D RUIN ALL THE OTHER CONVICTS.
503
IN A HOPELESS MINORITY.
504
“DID YE ASK MORRISSEY YET?”
505
GOT THE LAUGH ON DOUGLAS.
506
“FIXED UP” A BIT FOR THE “CITY FOLKS.”
507
EVEN REBELS OUGHT TO BE SAVED.
508
TRIED TO DO WHAT SEEMED BEST.
509
“HOLDING A CANDLE TO THE CZAR.”
510
NASHVILLE WAS NOT SURRENDERED.
511
HE COULDN’T WAIT FOR THE COLONEL.
512
LINCOLN PRONOUNCED THIS STORY FUNNY.
513
JOKE WAS ON LINCOLN.
514
THE OTHER ONE WAS WORSE.
515
“I’D A BEEN MISSED BY MYSE’F.”
516
IT ALL “DEPENDED” UPON THE EFFECT.
517
TOO SWIFT TO STAY IN THE ARMY.
518
ADMIRED THE STRONG MAN.
519
WISHED THE ARMY CHARGED LIKE THAT.
520
“UNCLE ABRAHAM” HAD EVERYTHING READY.
521
NOT AS SMOOTH AS HE LOOKED.
522
A SMALL CROP.
523
“NEVER REGRET WHAT YOU DON’T WRITE.”
524
A VAIN GENERAL.
525
DEATH BED REPENTANCE.
526
NO CAUSE FOR PRIDE.
527
THE STORY OF LINCOLN’S LIFE
528
A YOUTHFUL POET.
529
MADE SPEECHES WHEN A BOY.
530
ASSISTANT PILOT ON A STEAMBOAT.
531
“CAPTAIN LINCOLN” PLEASED HIM.
532
FAILURE AS A BUSINESS MAN.
533
GAINS FAME AS A STORY TELLER.
534
SURVEYOR WITH NO STRINGS ON HIM.
535
A MEMBER OF THE LEGISLATURE.
536
THE FAMOUS “LONG NINE.”
537
BEGINS TO OPPOSE SLAVERY.
538
BEGINS TO PRACTICE LAW.
539
HIS FIRST JOINT DEBATE.
540
MARRIES A SPRINGFIELD BELLE.
541
STORY OF ANNE RUTLEDGE.
542
HIS DUEL WITH SHIELDS.
543
FORMS NEW PARTNERSHIP.
544
DEFEATS PETER CARTWRIGHT FOR CONGRESS.
545
MAKES SPEECHES FOR “OLD ZACH.”
546
DECLINES A HIGH OFFICE.
547
LINCOLN AS A LAWYER.
548
TELLING STORIES ON THE CIRCUIT.
549
THE LION IS AROUSED TO ACTION.
550
SEEKS A SEAT IN THE SENATE.
551
HELPS TO ORGANIZE THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.
552
THE RAIL-SPLITTER vs. THE LITTLE GIANT.
553
WERE LIKE CROWDS AT A CIRCUS.
554
HIS BUCKEYE CAMPAIGN.
555
FIRST VISIT TO NEW YORK.
556
FIRST NOMINATION FOR PRESIDENT.
557
FORMATION OF THE SOUTHERN CONFEDERACY.
558
GOOD-BYE TO THE OLD FOLK.
559
THE “SECRET PASSAGE” TO WASHINGTON.
560
HIS ELOQUENT INAUGURAL ADDRESS.
561
FOLLOWS PRECEDENT OF WASHINGTON.
562
GREATER DIPLOMAT THAN SEWARD.
563
LINCOLN A GREAT GENERAL.
564
ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE IN GRANT.
565
REASONS FOR FREEING THE SLAVES.
566
HARD TO REFUSE PARDONS.
567
A FUN-LOVING AND HUMOR-LOVING MAN.
568
WARNINGS OF HIS TRAGIC DEATH.
569
LINCOLN AT THE THEATRE.
570
LAMON’S REMARKABLE REQUEST.
571
HOW LINCOLN WAS MURDERED.
572
BOOTH BRANDISHES HIS DAGGER AND ESCAPES.
573
WALT WHITMAN’S DESCRIPTION.
574
BOOTH FOUND IN A BARN.
575
BOOTH SHOT BY “BOSTON” CORBETT.
576
FATE OF THE CONSPIRATORS.
577
HENRY WARD BEECHER’S EULOGY.
578
ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S FAMILY.
579
LINCOLN MONUMENT AT SPRINGFIELD.
Chapter 6 of 579
TIME LOST DIDN’T COUNT.
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